Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Ghajini – The review

It was Christmas, we could have spent the night partying, dancing, enjoying, and simply doing what might have brought us more joy. Instead like any other average stupid movie buff, we had fallen prey to one of the biggest promotional gimmicks played by any movie maker in recent time. The television promotions of Ghajini were so promising that 15 of us decided to watch the movie on the day of its release.
The movie starts with Amir Khan killing a man brutally, and then calmly taking his photograph to remember the person whom he had killed. Wow what a start. After this scene the movie never really manages to catch up to anyone’s expectations. Read on if you like to read someone criticizing any movie as brutally as possible
Well there is no story. In short the story is, the villain kills Amir’s wife, Amir kills 3-4 people, and there are 3-4 useless pathetic songs to fill the gaps, that’s it.
The music was super successful in drawing the crowds out of the cinema hall and into the smoking zone just to avoid listening to the songs. Prasoon Joshi (lyricist) should probably go back to the advertising industry and continue writing one line jingles. All his songs in Ghajini sound like 10-15 jingles being scream in a sequence. Maybe Prasoon was playing with some 3 moth old kids and baby talking. Someone might have recorded the sound and added some music to it to save some cost or creative energy.
The songs have a very strong Mallu touch. If you have ever seen Sun TV or some Tamil songs, the ones where the colour of the hero’s clothes changes, the hero appears in 4 different looks on the same screen at the same time, yes you will find it all. The only difference between a B grade Tamil song and any other song of Ghajini is that it stars Amir and not Chiranjeevi or Rajnikant trying their luck with dancing.
Like my statement above, the action sequences have been handpicked from previous Rajnikant movies. Actually looking at the stunts that Amir has performed even Rajni might get a complex. Think I am exaggerating? There is a scene in the movie where Amir slaps a bad guy and his head twists a full 180 degrees, yeah only 1 slap that’s it.

Special Comments:
His name is MURUGADOSS. You have to give justice to your name and in the same spirit he has made a complete MURGA out of the unsuspecting crowds. He has very efficiently converted a supposed to be bollywood flick into a Tamil movie.
Jiah Khan:
She reminded me of the pupy in the hutch ad and the slogan “wherever you go, our network follows”. Like a faithful dog she follows Amir wherever he goes. Similar to the puppy in the ad she has only one expression on her face, an expression where she is confused and probably saying to herself, “I am just a puppy, why are so many cameras focused on me? “

Conclusion: Probably Amir was getting a bit nervous that down south fans have put up temples of Rajni, C..Jeevi etc, Why not a temple for me? In some ways he seems to have fulfilled his fantasy of acting in a Rajnikant like flick

My friend was so bored in the movie that he made it a point to catch up on some much needed sleep. Photographs have been attached as proof for people who do not believe in my honesty

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Google to the rescue

Over the years we have used this wonderful tool called Google search. It has become difficult to imagine what our lives would be without Google. I am pretty sure that I will not be able to put up meaningful proposal with useless statistics without the help of Google. For that matter, most of us would not be able to search and gather any relevant information that we need on a day to day basis.
I remember a conversation with a close friend. She was trying to find her ear rings in her house, which she had misplaced. Being a complete mess that she is, she was having a difficult time in finding the ear rings. At that moment she came up with a rather innovative idea, what if there was a Google search available for your home? What if you could query Google and find out where you kept your watch, or the book that you borrowed from your friend or for that matter any item inside your house. Interesting idea isn't it? I let my imagination run wild with the idea of having Google search/ Google apps to solve our routine problems.
I always have a tough time when, my mom asks me to fetch anything from her purse. The problem starts with identifying which purse amongst the dozen odd purses that she owns, all of them kept in different rooms and in different cupboards. Is it the little brown one, or the really little brown wallet or the brown shopping bag? Damn it I am a guy and am not equipped to distinguish between chocolate brown, to cherry red or understand the difference between a purse and a small bag. For me colours are simply red, brown and bags are a bag, that’s it. We carry only one wallet and one office bag. I have always wondered why women need so many bags, especially when all of them are used to carry the same crap. The problem does not end when you locate the purse. There is usually one small purse inside the large one, and in one of the 15 compartments in the purse, lies the end to your search. Not to mention the painful task of trying to search through the a ton of paper garbage, make up kits, water bottle, change (more than what a bus conductor would carry on a busy day) and last but not the least some food item, usually a mouth freshener (scented supari) or mandir ka prasad carefully wrapped inside a small white handkerchief or a tissue paper. One interesting observation is that one of my friends, who always carries her toothbrush and paste in her purse. No exaggeration, yes she carries her toothbrush, even to office.
Even I am a big mess. I never have a clue where I have kept my wallet, or the car keys or my pens etc. The only things that are kept in the right place are my shoes. Yes there is no option of carrying them to the bedroom or leave them in the living room, they are only found in the shoe rack at the entrance. There have been instances when my wallet and car keys have been found inside the washing machine, in my trouser’s pocket.

Now this is a situation where a Google search could have been a saviour. My life would have been much easier if I could do a quick Google and get the answer on which room, which cupboard, which purse, which wallet and which compartment. Or find out where my car keys are, inside my trouser pocket or in the washing machine. Unless Google reads my article and decides to solve this global crisis, I guess we will have to go through the routine of searching for and through the purses and the washing machines.

Google has mastered the art of understanding a person's behaviour on the internet. Based on an individual’s surfing habits and search parameter, they display advertisements relevant to your interests. What we have is a computer that carefully crunches millions of complex mathematical equations to place the relevant advertisement on the page that you are surfing. The human mind also does something similar to Google. It does really complex calculations and analysis of a million permutations combinations on a daily basis. Don't believe me? Next time you see hot girl/guy, just analyze how many questions you have asked your brain and how many complex equations it has solved.
Usually the brain is activated the moment you spot an interesting object, in my case, a cute female. After the initial spotting you will carefully start analyzing some basic information. This is what I call gathering user information. You observe what she is wearing, how she is standing, what is the colour of her hair, what is the brand of clothing she is wearing, her height, including the most important of observations, the vital stats.

After all this information has been gathered in less than 5 seconds of observing, your mind does lot of calculations and analysis to proceed to the next stage. At this stage for a split second you will imagine that you are with that girl and visualize the scene. Depending on the character, it can range from being a scene to something obscene. You imagine yourselves with that girl, chatting, dancing and a lot of other things, all imagined in a matter of few seconds. Some people go to the extent of analyzing whether she will look taller than them when they stand together, or whether she will be classier compared to your clumsy self. Every guy has his own inhibitions and usually the first analysis is on his preference, be it the height or the looks etc,
At the next stage your mind will get into a small decision making loop. She looks pretty interesting; will she be interested in me? At this stage again the mind starts analyzing the inputs from the earlier stage and gathers more inputs on her behaviour, observing how she is talking/standing/dancing. If she is accompanied by someone, you try to identify the relationship. If she is hitting him, there are chances that it is her boyfriend, is she just being cool with him, maybe they are friends, and is she nervous or waiting for someone? The list is endless.
After this stage you decide whether you should hit on her. The decision and the courage of hitting on her are directly proportional to the amount of alcohol circulating in your blood. Research has proven that more girls get hit on in a pub or a club when the guys are happy and high as against a nice and sober condition. Usually you can blame rejections on alcohol, so it’s a guilt free proposition and a no loss situation.

After the initial attraction your mind starts solving a more complex issue, how do I hit on her? Whether I purposely bump into her? Do I directly approach with a nice pick up line? Or just keep staring at her like a jackass hoping that she will reciprocate and clear the approach path. This is usually the longest period of analysis. Every second feels like a minute. If the guy is accompanied by friends, then the situation becomes really entertaining. Invariably you will find your friends to be really supportive and encouraging. They will encourage you to approach the girl. Your ego and confidence is boosted looking at all the encouragement offered by friends. Its only later you realize that your friends knew how drunk you were and were curious to see how you will be rejected, with a smile or frown or by her friends who pounce on him like a pack of wolves. Some guys also find the situation to be a money making opportunity, betting on your chances of being successful or making a complete fool out of yourself. Anyways the result depends on how closely you have observed her and which variables you have chosen as the prime requirements and the ones that you have chosen to avoid. Statistically, unless you are a Salman or a John Abraham you will get rejected anywhere between 3-8 times out of 10. The higher the success rate, better are the flirting capabilities. Once you have chosen the right pick up line and have been successful in involving her in a dialogue, what next. There is always the question, what are her likes? What should I talk about? Should I talk about music? Talk about this place? It is very important, to understand what are her likes, to keep the conversation, alive and interesting. The biggest problem is having adequate knowledge on any topic that she has initiated. If you don’t seem knowledgeable, it’s a big turn off for the thinking women, at least I hope so.

While you are discussing various topics, your mind has already started working on what is the next plan. Should I invite her for coffee or a movie tomorrow? Should I ask her if she wants to go for a drive, tonight? God damn, women are so confusing, there is no way you can apply any logic and get the right answer.

Now imagine how many times you collected, analyzed all the information. Don't you think your life would have been easier if there was some kind of Google gadget in your pocket, which would accurately analyze all the information for you? All you would do is point the device at the girl and it could tell you whether there is any scope in even dreaming about hitting on that chick. If it could tell you, this girl likes tall guys with enough money to buy her tequila (her favourite drink), then take her out for dinner to an Italian restaurant and order a lasagne, then take her on a drive and end the date with a particular line that makes knees weak and then prompt you on a lot of other stuff, which invariably you will expect after spending a bomb on the drinks, food and petrol. If not it could tell you, no luck dude, she does not like bald freaks like you. What if you could scan through 30 women at a club to find out that none of them will find you to be their date tonight.

What if this device could point out that girl who would be interested in you and also give you information like the pickup line that you should use information on the topics that you could discuss? What if it could quickly scan through her orkut or FB profile and find out communities or things she is interested in? What if it could quickly scan through her flixster profile and find out which movie she wants to watch, and you could then invite her for the same? What if it could read her blog and present to you her mental profile? Well the wish is endless.
What if it could point out the female who would be interested in you? And if you are really lucky, what if there were multiple females interested in you? I guess if there were multiple girls interested the device would crash in trying to compute the results of the dream query “Which 2 out of the of the 4-5 girls, who find me desirable , be willing to opt for a threesome , TONIGHT. Even if the device didn’t crash and was able to answer the question accurately, I guess guys would faint at the thought of finally being on the verge of fulfilling their biggest fantasy hehe.

I guess if such a gadget were available then all sad nerds (me included) would definitely buy this device, of course with a password hacked by some other more intelligent desperate engineer. And my last imagination what would the device be called, I would surely name it "Doogle" (Do- Girl)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Dr. Devil's Remedies

They say that an empty mind is the devil's workshop. But what happens if the mind is that of the devil? My answer is that it leads to solving a lot of complex problems in life. Confused? read further to know what my devil mind was working on in idle time

Problem: How to get a person out of coma?
Solution: Lock him in a room with Rakhi Sawant and ask her to share her experiences in life. There are only two possibilities, either the person will give up on life or gather all the energy left in his numb body just to get up and slap Rakhi and stop her from talking any further

Problem: How to cure insomnia
Solution: Make the person listen to the recital of "Lord of the Rings" by Atal Bihari Vajpayee.

Problem: Torture a prisoner and make him plead for death penalty
Solution: Make him watch "Ramu Ki Aag" alone in the theater , twice a day without disprin, popcorn or coke for one full week

Problem: How to discourage homosexuality?
Solution: declare in public that Shahrukh and Karan are only friends

Problem: How to test someone's patience?
Solution: Make the person watch Jodha Akbar on some movie channel without granting him a loo break, even when the advertisements are being shown

Problem: How to stop Bangladeshis from coming to India?
Solution: legalize prostitution and terrorism in Bangladesh

Last and the most important
How to save India from degrading further?

Simple Make Gaurav Puranik the president of India hehehehehehehehe

Now let me dream of my action plan when i am made the president of the country, you can go back to your boring routine thoughts

Sunday, October 19, 2008

When are you getting married?

When are you getting married?
I have been asked this cruel question many times now. The question usually brings back some really sad memories of events that have occurred in the past six months. The first question that comes to my mind is that do I look that happy? So happy that people can no longer tolerate my happiness , my freedom and want to tie me down with the chains of marriage? Through this post I have made an attempt to share with you all , the memories of the events that have occurred in the past 6 months
This post is dedicated to all my bachelor friends who are slowly and steadily turning into dinosaurs in the Shaadi Market. Yes it is a market unlike any other. Life was fun till the day my parents decided that, it’s time for me to get married. My brother has already undergone the sometime embarrassing, sometime painful, and most of the time hilarious experience of searching for a bride, using all possible tactics known to any parent. Yes I would call the methods adopted as tactics, finding a bride and getting married is nothing less than winning a glorious battle. Let me share our experiences so far in this seemingly never ending quest for the pativrata or sati savitri

The torture starts one unfortunate day, when your parents feel that you seem too happy in life, happy in doing what you like, partying with friends, enjoying your life without any hooks to pull you down . Parents now believe that it’s about time that they bring a new boss in your life, someone more fearsome than the office boss (at least he pays you at the end of the month for all the trouble). At the start you will encounter one the best melodrama that you must have watched, but this time the drama queen being mommy dearest. I have never seen my mother act so well. The expression so painful, sad, which can probably be matched only by two of the greatest melodrama queens, Rakhi and Nirupama Roy, the most sad and tortured mothers on the planet. There is no other weapon that any mother will use more effectively, looking at the sad face and the emotional outburst, trying to be the obedient son/daughter, you will succumb to the melodramatic emotional blackmailing technique and finally say OK. After this OK all the other Okays, in life will seem smaller and irrelevant and less dangerous.

These days parents are more considerate. Considering all the embarrassment that one has to undergo in the actual meeting, all of them have somehow decided to allow their kids to get embarrassed in private using an evil tool called matrimonial site. After delaying the registration process stating all possible technical reasons (Net connection is down, computer virus infection, website down etc) one fine day you will be forced by your mom to register, with her sitting by your side monitoring your every move.

Unlike social networking sites, filling up the “About Me” section on a matrimonial site is very tricky. On orkut/fb you will probably try to put up the wackiest quote, something funny or in my case a very cruel or a sarcastic quote. But that does not happen when you want to register on a matrimonial site. How do you make yourselves look like potential marriage material? Not sound very stupid? How do you say that I love to party , drink to glory , like to hit on all the girls I see at a bar and love to go on expensive tours to achieve all the above in a matter of 1 night ?. How do you say that I have hell lot of attitude and don’t care a fuck, what you think, till the time I like you and I am in a demanding position? The matter becomes very complex for girls. Imagine you are trying to convince a guy to marry you and somehow you are expected to make an impression by writing something about yourselves in just 2 lines.
The next step is to upload a DECENT photograph. God damn I do not recall the last time I was decent in anything, photograph included. With my mom by my side, I had my worst critic making sarcastic comments on all the photographs that I was choosing. The comments on some of my selections were, you look to fat in this one, you are not smiling and look too serious, don’t use the photo that you clicked in a party , you look like a drunk party animal……. Damn I don’t have a single photo that is worth uploading. The basic intent was to make me look like smart, slim, fair, handsome chap with long hair. I said to myself, WTF is that possible, at least I don’t know of any camera that clicks the picture of an elephant and makes it look like a tiger. Looking at my own photo, I got a feeling that I was selecting the photo for my own obituary, here’s Gaurav, soon going to be dead (actually married, but what’s the difference)

After you have finally overcome the challenge and have managed to scribble the two lines describing your sorry self, and have uploaded your photos, it’s time to search for the perfect partner. As I had mentioned earlier, matrimonial site is a very weird concept. Girls are very concerned about their looks and at least 90 out of 100 girls do not upload their photographs on any matrimonial site. Imagine that you have to be interested in someone (marriage perspective only) by reading 2 lines that they have written about themselves. For your understanding of the situation, I have pasted some of the weirdest profiles that I have seen. Remember that none of these girls have uploaded their photos and I am supposed to choose my life partner, by reading what they have written

Profile 1:
hi i am pooja looking for a good looking groom and he must be well setelled. he must be free minded &
Gaurav : And….. Is there more to the wish list or has she dozed off thinking of the ideal match?.
Profile 2:
I M simple cultural girl and want my spouse tobe graduated with fair looking and ht=5ft9inch nonsmoker, nonalcholic should able to understand me su-port me and should standby me till my last breath.
Gaurav: God damn we haven’t even met and all the conditions, no smoking, drinking etc and still she expect that I will support her till the last breath?. With all these conditions, the wedding day will be last when I breathe. Reject reject reject

Profile 3:
born brought up and educated in Mumbai she comes from a highly educated and cultured background.
Gaurav: And…….. Do I really need to comment on this?
You get what I want to say, don’t you? I thought that there might be some bad profiles and there might be good ones too. It is quite funny that the girls that you like, invariable do not like you. Till now I found some matching candidates but got rejected by all, similarly so far I have rejected everyone who has expressed interest in me.
Six months have passed since the torture began. To add to our woes, shaadi.com played a cruel game. I am not making up this stuff, and every word is true, I swear by Kingfisher beer, which will make you realize how serious I am. Realizing that we were not liking any of the candidates and vice versa, one dreadful day I get a daily mailer from shaadi.com, the site on their own had decided that it’s about time that we should change our sexual orientation. The mailer usually contains list of candidates/profiles which match the partner criterion that you have set. I was shocked to see that the mailer contained the profile of a GUY looking for a suitable alliance. God damn those jackasses sent me the link to a guy’s profile. Can anyone reach such a low point in life? Some stupid software decides that bride search is useless for you, why not try to swing the other way, and don’t be straight forward try the backdoor entry? Disillusioned by this event I decided that it’s high time that matrimonial sites are not the way to search for a partner. Clearly matrimonial sites have proven to be a big failure for me and my brother.
So now we have resorted to the more traditional methods of bride search, referrals made by relatives. There have been some funny incidents in all the personal meetings that these so called well wishers have setup. You feel that your friends, relatives actually understand your taste in women and will recommend someone who matches the requirement. But all efforts in vain. Someday I will share these personal meeting experiences with you

As I write this, I am still single. The pressure to marry continues and so does the seemingly never ending search. Looking back at the experiences so far, I guess being a bachelor was much better. But somewhere inside you do feel that, I hope there was someone I could go back to. After a tiring day in office I could go back home and say, sweetheart could you fix me a drink please? And while you are at it can you also get something to munch? Lol (do not expect something serious from me)
On a honest note, some day when you are lonely at night, you do hope that there was someone, and can’t help but hum the song – Still haven’t found what I am looking for

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Video Coach ki haseen yaadein

If you have stayed in Mumbai, you might have traveled by the local trains at least once in your life. I have traveled, daily almost for three years. This is a simple effort of listing some observations.

Central Railway has more video coaches compared to western railway. For those who are not aware of the local train lingo let me explain the concept of video coach and its importance. A video coach is the compartment in which the ladies coach and the gents coach is separated by a small window (grill) providing unobstructed view of the ladies compartment to the cat-fight hungry males of the gent’s compartment.

It is always entertaining to watch the expressions of the female travelers. I believe that some girls watch others in a more embarrassing way than a guy checking out a girl. A man will simply look at the face, the vital assets, that’s it, our world ends there. For girls it starts with the colour of her hair, analyzing which celebrity’s hairstyle she has copied to the brand of the top she is wearing, whether it suits her figure. In short all the way from the top to the bottom, the last comparison being whether the colour of her nail paint matches with the color of her hair, dress etc. All this will probably take her less than 15 seconds, and that I would say is some serious talent. It is equally funny to look at the way these females will point the odd ones out, without even pointing a finger, just by making signs with their eyes and tilting their necks.

Amongst all the checking out you will probably hear a very loud sound, females fighting for the seat, or if there has been a stamping of feet, the reason is not important but the result is. The fight is really interesting if the two females belong to two different worlds. One being a girl from a sophisticated well to do family, wearing a good pair of jeans, a nice top, fashionable sandals, someone who resembles the small time model on page 55 of Femina , ( In simple Bambaiyya Hindi, ITEM) . Opponent of our item being a “kolin”, more famously known as the macchiwali and for my friends unaware of both, a fisherwoman clad in the traditional saree ( I wonder if it’s an unwritten law that a machhiwali should only wear sarees green or yellow in colour).

What makes the macchiwali noticeable is the quantum of jewels she will be wearing. Most of the time wearing at least ½ kg of gold, necklaces that look large enough to serve as chains to attach a small ship’s anchor or maybe even pull a car. Anyways just imagine the situation when females from such diverse backgrounds enter a fight.

Our item will usually make a sad face looking at the macchhiwali, muttering something in English. The macchhiwali will usually respond with a very brave loud comment. Being a very sophisticated girl, our item responds “excuse me’’ in her polished accent. There is nothing more annoying to any macchiwali than to hear someone talking back in English, call it jealousy or pure instinct the words “excuse me”, are also considered as abuses. At this point the machhiwali starts responding with the best of its kind abuses in Marathi, call it a habit, our item has to respond back in English. If she is traveling with a friend the first lines usually are “Oh shit/yaar shiiiiiii look at the way she is talking”. And then round one of the bout begins. The cat fight goes on with the macchiwaali trying to hurt our item with her abusing; now in Hindi, I guess butchering Hindi language more than her opponent. The fight continues and the male passenger across the grill is enjoying the show. The scene reminds of the scenes from movies where a criminal is watching a fight from behind the bars and is enjoying every bit of the action. A crowd would have already gathered near the screen (by now it has turned into an entertainment screen). It’s interesting to note that there will be guys stamping on each other’s feet or pushing each other, but instead of fighting they show great understanding. Instead of screaming or fighting, they will make some space for the other guy so that even he can get a glimpse of the ongoing entertainment show. Amongst all the screaming and shouting some old lady will play the role of NATO and bring about unwanted peace. Citizens of the neighboring coach hate this NATO delegate, and the peaceful citizens resemble the rebel army, upset that NATO has struck again. I hope that Lalu or P Chidambaram do not read this post and introduce new entertainment tax for travelers in the video coach.

Recently saw some advertisements on the upcoming Mumbai Metro railway project. The metro project promises commuters with AC coaches, automatic doors and a journey in a train which is not crowded. It somehow disheartens me to think that if there is no rush in the train and any pushing or pinching, there won’t be any cat fights (I pray that it does not happen). In such a scenario will the travel be as entertaining? will the cat fights come to an end? I hope that all the items find some reason to fight and that the entertainment in the video coach does not end, but now it becomes more pleasurable with cushioned seats and air conditioned environment.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Independence Rock, the Magical Journey

The year 1994 , the year that i became a teenager ( a big step forward). Full of energy and a rebel without a cause, I guess every teenager is in his/her own small way. It was always my habit to hangout with guys elder to me, and one such friend (They were more like idols to a stupid teenager trying to act cool) once told me , now that u r a teenager its about time we make you a man , lets introduce you to ROCK Music and an experience called Independence Rock. All excited I told my mother that i am going for a rock show and being ignorant about what rock music was, she had absolutely no objections ( sometimes i hope she never had found out what rock music was or what goes on in a rock show).

Two bus rides, a train travel and after a kilometers long walk from Marine lines station we finally reached Rang Bhawan, the ultimate venue for a rock show that ever existed in India. For someone in school , looking at the Xavier's crowd was like being in playboy mansion , surrounded by Hugh Hefner's picks of the season. All the rock fans in running screaming, singing in their traditional IROCK outfits , torn/faded/dirty jeans, mostly denim blue and with a black colored rock print T-shirt on top. I wondered whether it was the official dress code for this event and whether i will be let in since i was wearing a normal T with jeans. Nirvana and Kurt Cobain were at an all time high that season and invariably you could see a lot of Cobain and Metallica's on the T shirts. It is quite interesting to observe the body language of these guys. The heavier the music the music that you listen to more the attitude and pride in your walk. A guy with Slayer would definitely look down on a guy wearing a Jim Morrison T shirt , a look that "Get Lost u wannabe". After years of exposure to this cult even i have developed the attitude of looking down on guys who would listen to nu-metal /alternate rock, i guess continued exposure to the environment invariably transfers the attitude disease to you.

Like all other places in Mumbai you always have to stand in long queues for anything , be it a movie ticket, or your railway ticket. It was a pleasant surprise to see a long queue for tickets, I said to myself god damn, I didn't know that these many guys lived this lifestyle (even before attending the show, just at the venue gates I had started believing that this is not a form of music but a lifestyle). Standing in the queue we could hear the bands playing inside. The crowd screaming and singing along. The sound of electric guitar was exhilarating, the sound of the drums making my heart pound faster and faster. It's difficult to describe the feeling, one has to actually visit and experience the feeling.

We stood in the queue and then my friend pulled out bottles of thums up from his pocket, and offered everyone a swig. Thums up never tasted that way and then i was told that it was thumsup + OLD MONK , god damn since that day thums up and old monk have become the official drink for all rock shows. No matter how much money we have or if there's a hotel nearby , invariably we end up drinking on the road and that too OLD MONK. Standing in the queue there was only a 20 feet wall that stood between us and the venue, a wall protecting the insane already inside the show from the wannabe insane outside.

On entering Rang Bhawan we were welcomed with the best abuses that a crowd can shower on any band. Apparently the band had taken some time to do their sound check and the restless crowd had started chanting Bhe....od Mada ....od start the fuckin music. Wow i said, people on this side abuse in hindi too.
The air was filled with smoke of all types, from cigarettes to J's to the white smoke used as special effects for the stage. Under the main spotlights, the laser lights, the smoke takes the most weird colors and probably for me this was the best example of teamwork , the organizers contributing the lighting technology and the 2000+ crowd contributing the smoke hehe

That day had one of the best bands in India lined up to perform their act, Agni , Brahma, Pentagram and Parikrama. The time demanded that every band plays the best covers. Bands were not ranked based on how good their original composition was but purely on how well they covered Metallica, Deep Purple etc. That day all the bands were amazing with their work (i did not have any prior experience to compare). Songs like Alive , unforgiven, one, another brick, highway star, smoke on the water, paradise city, jump, even flow etc were covered by these bands. I will refrain from getting into the details of all the tracks played , for the fear that i will run into 100 more pages of text.

End of the show , as usual Farhad Wadia made a promise that the next IROCK will be bigger and better , and i would say that he has kept his promise year after year. What followed after the show was a long walk back to Marine Lines, but this time with really tired legs, a throat dried because of all the smoking, shouting screaming, clothes drenched in sweat and most importantly a neck that had never felt heavier and this painful. I guess headbanging does take its toll on the entire body. What seemed cool back then had now turned into endless pain.

14 Years have passed since that day, times have changed but the enthusiasm has not. IROCK venue has shifted from Rang Bhawan to Chitrakoot, We have jobs as senior managers in multinational companies, all of us are earning enough to afford a nice visit to expensive restaurants or even a 5 star hotel, but till date when it comes to IROCK
  • The same friends call up , doesn't matter if we haven't spoken for 6 months but 2 days prior to IRCOK they will call
  • We end up drinking old monk and thumsup , that too on the road no matter how much money we have
  • The screaming , trying to sing louder than the band never ends
  • end of the show we all end up with neck pain. Back then we cursed the college and now the bosses at work because with the hangover and pain we still can't miss office the next day

I pray that this journey never ends and that the madness continues !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!